english joke

(husband & Wife )

husband: Will U marry , after I die.
Wife : No I will live with my sister.Wife : Will U marry , after I die.
husband: No I will also live with your sister___________________________________

Future plans of childrens:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Adnan: I want 2 b a pilot.
Wakeel: I want 2 b a doctor.
Bina: I want 2 b a good mother.
Shariq : I want 2 help Bina.

______________________________________

An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
An Aeroplane asks a Rocket
How is that you can fly so fast?
The Rocket replies you will know the pain
when they put fire at your back!

________________________________________

Difference b/w secretary & private secretary
Q: What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?

Ans:
Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR
&
Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIR

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Hi i am marrying next week ( Funny sms )
Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don’t bring any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.

__________________________________________

Marriage is like a public toilet

Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come

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HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further

M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE

___________________________________________

TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????

STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
۱boy+3girls=challenge..

__________________________________________

۱: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

۲: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?

_________________________________________

۱٫    Smart man + smart woman = romance

۲٫    Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy

۳٫    Dumb man + smart woman = affair

۴٫    Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

۵٫    Smart boss + smart employee = profit

۶٫    Smart boss + dumb employee = production

۷٫    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

۸٫    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

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۲) kiss me every time

Diana, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, ‘Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?’

‘I would love to do that,’ replied Diana’s husband, ‘but the problem is……….she won’t let me.’

__________________________________________

۳) why women are beautiful

‘God,’ inquired Adam, ‘Why did you make Eve so beautiful?’

‘So you would love her.’

‘But why did you make her so dumb?’

‘So she would love you.’

__________________________________________

American: In our country ,
marriage even takes place with email.

Hindi : In India, it is only with a female

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A lady want to see a tarot reader woman who’ll predict her future.

–  Leady , I’m sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future .

– Don’t tell me things that I already know , tell me if there would be an investigation.

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Tcher while lecturing , noticed a student sleeping at the back.

Tcher shouts 2 hs neighbor : “ wake him up!”

Neighbor yells : “U put him 2 sleep , so U wake him up.”

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Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.

___________________________________

Jack was attending the funeral service of the richest man in the city.
Beacause he was weeping bitterly, a man asked sadly, ” was the deceases one of the dear relatives? “No” said jack.
” Then why are you crying?” asked the stranger. ” Because I’m not one of the relatives,” answered jack.

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A man bought a canary from a store. He asked the seller, ” Are you sure this bird can sign?
” the seller replied, ” it is a wonderful singer.”
A week later , the customer reappeared and said, ” This bird you sold me is lame.”
the seller answered, ” Well, you said you wanted a singer not a dancer!”

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